I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.

Dolphins are rude, but they don’t do it on porpoise.

No clothes necessary today.

Hide and seek champion right here. [OC]

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Remember boys, no points for second place.

A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

Did you think I could reveal these behind a blazer?

When I was a kid, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

A chiropractors favorite music is hip pop.

Becoming a vegetarian is just one big missed steak.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems.

I got fired from this canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.

Did you expect that?

Drop the pants. It’s a no pants party!

How is everyone doing this fine Thursday?

Drop the shirt. We won’t need it where we’re going.

Setting them free

Getting the blood pumping gets the veins popping!

A towel reveal for your weekend.

I can’t with this heat. Can it be fall yet?

You tell me if this post has anything to do with Earth Day 🌎