A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

daphniexrae daphniexrae
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Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

Strap in, we’re going for a workout!

Strap in, we’re going for a workout!

A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, how did you do that?

A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, how did you do that?

Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.

Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death

You got to hand it to short people

You got to hand it to short people

How did that happen? Oops.

How did that happen? Oops.

Remember boys, no points for second place.

Remember boys, no points for second place.

Did you think I could reveal these behind a blazer?

Did you think I could reveal these behind a blazer?

I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.

I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.

Becoming a vegetarian is just one big missed steak.

Becoming a vegetarian is just one big missed steak.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

The Pacific is the most detail-oriented ocean.

The Pacific is the most detail-oriented ocean.

Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems.

I almost poked my eye out with the sweatshirt string on this reveal.

I almost poked my eye out with the sweatshirt string on this reveal.

I got fired from this canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.

I got fired from this canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.

Did you expect that?

Did you expect that?

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.

These triangle tops are pretty useless on me anyway.

These triangle tops are pretty useless on me anyway.

Drop the shirt. We won’t need it where we’re going.

Drop the shirt. We won’t need it where we’re going.

Setting them free

Setting them free

One yawn away from a wardrobe malfunction.

One yawn away from a wardrobe malfunction.

A towel reveal for your weekend.

A towel reveal for your weekend.