A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, how did you do that?

daphniexrae daphniexrae
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I have the perfect spot for your face

I have the perfect spot for your face

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

My skin hates the sun. So the veins are always poppin’

My skin hates the sun. So the veins are always poppin’

Strap in, we’re going for a workout!

Strap in, we’re going for a workout!

No clothes necessary today.

No clothes necessary today.

Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.

Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death

You got to hand it to short people

You got to hand it to short people

How did that happen? Oops.

How did that happen? Oops.

Remember boys, no points for second place.

Remember boys, no points for second place.

I won't tell you a joke about the floor, it's beneath you

I won't tell you a joke about the floor, it's beneath you

A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

The Pacific is the most detail-oriented ocean.

The Pacific is the most detail-oriented ocean.

I almost poked my eye out with the sweatshirt string on this reveal.

I almost poked my eye out with the sweatshirt string on this reveal.

I got fired from this canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.

I got fired from this canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.

Good morning!

Good morning!

I hope you have a good day today! [gif]

I hope you have a good day today! [gif]

Setting them free

Setting them free

Let’s stay in bed today.

Let’s stay in bed today.

The left one always coming out to say hi.

The left one always coming out to say hi.

The black and white is really 🤌💋

The black and white is really 🤌💋