Remember boys, no points for second place.

daphniexrae daphniexrae
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Strap in, we’re going for a workout!

Strap in, we’re going for a workout!

Quasimodo was the best detective in France. He always had a hunch. [OC]

Quasimodo was the best detective in France. He always had a hunch. [OC]

A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, how did you do that?

A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, how did you do that?

Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.

Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death

You got to hand it to short people

You got to hand it to short people

How did that happen? Oops.

How did that happen? Oops.

A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.

I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.

When I was a kid, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

When I was a kid, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

A chiropractors favorite music is hip pop.

A chiropractors favorite music is hip pop.

Becoming a vegetarian is just one big missed steak.

Becoming a vegetarian is just one big missed steak.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

The Pacific is the most detail-oriented ocean.

The Pacific is the most detail-oriented ocean.

Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems.

I almost poked my eye out with the sweatshirt string on this reveal.

I almost poked my eye out with the sweatshirt string on this reveal.

I got fired from this canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.

I got fired from this canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.

Did you expect that?

Did you expect that?

How is everyone doing this fine Thursday?

How is everyone doing this fine Thursday?

Drop the shirt. We won’t need it where we’re going.

Drop the shirt. We won’t need it where we’re going.

Setting them free

Setting them free

A towel reveal for your weekend.

A towel reveal for your weekend.

I can’t with this heat. Can it be fall yet?

I can’t with this heat. Can it be fall yet?