Hope this makes your Monday a bit better!

The amount of lingerie I have is a real problem

I have a stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.

The only acceptable type of socks to keep on during.

Earmuffs are crucial this time of year.

Interesting underwear is my favorite kind.

Self tie

What do tofu and dildos have in common?

I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Channeling the 69 Boyz.

This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.

A tornado’s favorite game is Twister.

I don’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip off.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

These triangle tops are pretty useless on me anyway.

Being naked outside is the best

Nothing but lace

Soaking up that good ol’ Vitamin D.

Hey there. Thanks for stopping by.

This is definitely thin enough to be noticeable. Oops.

I think lace and flannel make a great combination.