The amount of lingerie I have is a real problem

I’ve been listening to a lot of national anthems. I love country music.

I’m having a great time today.

Earmuffs are crucial this time of year.

Interesting underwear is my favorite kind.

What do tofu and dildos have in common?

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two tired.

This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.

A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

Did you think I could reveal these behind a blazer?

I don’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip off.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

I bought a boat because it was for sail.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

I almost poked my eye out with the sweatshirt string on this reveal.

These triangle tops are pretty useless on me anyway.

Drop the shirt. We won’t need it where we’re going.

Being naked outside is the best

How many shakes does it take to get to the nip slip?

Nothing but lace

Hope this makes your Monday a bit better!

Soaking up that good ol’ Vitamin D.

This hangs in the closet along with the others I’m too scared to wear in public.

This is definitely thin enough to be noticeable. Oops.