Happy Friday everyone!

daphniexrae daphniexrae
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I have the perfect spot for your face

I have the perfect spot for your face

I have a stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.

I have a stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.

I fired the guy I hired to cut my lawn. He just didn’t cut it.

I fired the guy I hired to cut my lawn. He just didn’t cut it.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

It doesn’t really fit.

It doesn’t really fit.

My skin hates the sun. So the veins are always poppin’

My skin hates the sun. So the veins are always poppin’

I’m waiting.

I’m waiting.

No clothes necessary today.

No clothes necessary today.

That one vein always wants to come out and play.

That one vein always wants to come out and play.

A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, how did you do that?

A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, how did you do that?

Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

It’s easy to convince ladies not to eat tide pods. It’s harder to deter gents.

It’s easy to convince ladies not to eat tide pods. It’s harder to deter gents.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

I got fired from this canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.

I got fired from this canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.

Good morning!

Good morning!

A little spicier than my usual posts! 😉

A little spicier than my usual posts! 😉

Setting them free

Setting them free

Let’s stay in bed today.

Let’s stay in bed today.

I’ve never met a triangle top that could hold me in.

I’ve never met a triangle top that could hold me in.

Getting the blood pumping gets the veins popping!

Getting the blood pumping gets the veins popping!

The left one always coming out to say hi.

The left one always coming out to say hi.

The black and white is really 🤌💋

The black and white is really 🤌💋