Barely contained

It doesn’t really fit.

Interesting underwear is my favorite kind.

What do tofu and dildos have in common?

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two tired.

This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.

The first French fries weren't actually cooked in France, they were cooked in Greece.

A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

Becoming a vegetarian is just one big missed steak.

I don’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip off.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

These triangle tops are pretty useless on me anyway.

How is everyone doing this fine Thursday?

Reverse titty drop?

They were just waiting to bust out

Add some sparkle to your life

Online shopping… fail?

One yawn away from a wardrobe malfunction.

I’ve never met a triangle top that could hold me in.

They don’t stay covered for long.

This hangs in the closet along with the others I’m too scared to wear in public.

This is definitely thin enough to be noticeable. Oops.

Before heading out to the pool for lunch.

Last night I had a dream I was swimming in a sea of orange soda