They don’t stay covered for long.

I have a stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.

It doesn’t really fit.

Sometimes I wish they were smaller.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two tired.

Hey, I know that guy, he’s a nihilist.

The first French fries weren't actually cooked in France, they were cooked in Greece.

A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

It’s easy to convince ladies not to eat tide pods. It’s harder to deter gents.

Becoming a vegetarian is just one big missed steak.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.

Nice and clean

These triangle tops are pretty useless on me anyway.

How is everyone doing this fine Thursday?

Reverse titty drop?

They were just waiting to bust out

Barely contained

Online shopping… fail?

One yawn away from a wardrobe malfunction.

Let’s stay in bed today.

I’ve never met a triangle top that could hold me in.

Just enjoying the sun!

I can’t with this heat. Can it be fall yet?