Enjoy your weekend!

My skin hates the sun. So the veins are always poppin’

Interesting underwear is my favorite kind.

What do tofu and dildos have in common?

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two tired.

How did that happen? Oops.

This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.

A friend asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

Did you think I could reveal these behind a blazer?

I don’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip off.

Melons have weddings because they cantaloupe.

I bought a boat because it was for sail.

Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems.

I almost poked my eye out with the sweatshirt string on this reveal.

Did you expect that?

These triangle tops are pretty useless on me anyway.

Drop the shirt. We won’t need it where we’re going.

Setting them free

How many shakes does it take to get to the nip slip?

Do you like my bra?

Let’s make the weekend a good one!

This hangs in the closet along with the others I’m too scared to wear in public.

This is definitely thin enough to be noticeable. Oops.

Last night I had a dream I was swimming in a sea of orange soda