I've been told I'm hotter than the flames on Mustafar.

Darth Vader probably liked his toast a bit on the Dark Side 🍞

Aren't you a little short for a Storm Trooper?

A hobbit was not watching where he was going and he bumped into the wizard. He said, "Saruman, didn't see you there"! 🧙🏻‍♂️

I'm not a Sith, because I can't bring balance to anything apparently

I couldn't enter Sauron's lair, there was always one Mordor to go through.

I think General Grievous’ favorite band had to be Weezer 🤷🏼‍♀️

I went to a sale at the Darth Maul. Everything was half off.

Yoda in the streets, Palpatine in the sheets.

I never made it to Mount Doom. There was always one Mordor to go through.

I couldn't enter Sauron's lair, there was always one Mordor to go through 🧙🏻‍♂️

Jedi in the streets, Sith in the sheets.

I wanna tell you something, but I don’t really wanna talk about it because I’m not sure how I feel about it, and I don’t wanna be told how to feel.

Alright Obi-Wan, you have the high ground....

Pale booty, red hair and a slight jiggle. I'm the whole package.

Big booty redheads [f]uck the best 🦊

Would you care if this is what I wore to bed?

Please excuse my bedhead this morning

Do you like pale girls with tattoos who like to be naked? 🦊

Felt confident this morning, so I decided to show you guys my boobs

When you wake up next to me, this is what you see.

I don't feel like getting out of bed today. Is that gonna be a problem? 🦊

This is me trying to convince you to come back to bed

What a great view to wake up to