Aren't you a little short for a Storm Trooper?

Darth Vader probably liked his toast a bit on the Dark Side 🍞

Are you a Star Wars nerd too? We should get matching Tatooines.

A hobbit was not watching where he was going and he bumped into the wizard. He said, "Saruman, didn't see you there"! 🧙🏻‍♂️

I'm not a Sith, because I can't bring balance to anything apparently

Darth Vader knew what Luke was getting for his birthday. He felt his presents.

I think General Grievous’ favorite band had to be Weezer 🤷🏼‍♀️

I went to a sale at the Darth Maul. Everything was half off.

I never made it to Mount Doom. There was always one Mordor to go through.

I couldn't enter Sauron's lair, there was always one Mordor to go through 🧙🏻‍♂️

Jedi in the streets, Sith in the sheets.

I wanna tell you something, but I don’t really wanna talk about it because I’m not sure how I feel about it, and I don’t wanna be told how to feel.

Alright Obi-Wan, you have the high ground....

I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Lets role play. I'll be Kim Possible, you be Ron, and I'll kiss your naked mole rat for luck.

Pale booty, red hair and a slight jiggle. I'm the whole package.

Stay home with me today? 😘

Please excuse my bedhead this morning

Do you like pale girls with tattoos who like to be naked? 🦊

Felt confident this morning, so I decided to show you guys my boobs

I'm not the best dancer, but at least I do it naked 🙃🦊

I don't feel like getting out of bed today. Is that gonna be a problem? 🦊

This is me trying to convince you to come back to bed

Feeling foxy in my fox socks 🧦