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Let’s flip a coin. Heads, you get tail. Tails, you get head.

Let’s flip a coin. Heads, you get tail. Tails, you get head.

How’s it hanging hot stuff?

How’s it hanging hot stuff?

The irony of a blow job is even though you have her on her knees, she still has you by the balls

The irony of a blow job is even though you have her on her knees, she still has you by the balls

Titties. They do a body good.

Titties. They do a body good.

Sitting on someone’s face who has a beard is like going for a little magic carpet ride.

Sitting on someone’s face who has a beard is like going for a little magic carpet ride.

Cheers to my first shower beer in a while!

Cheers to my first shower beer in a while!

Wanna get tangled in my tinsel?

Wanna get tangled in my tinsel?

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this isn’t going to be an ordinary blow job.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this isn’t going to be an ordinary blow job.

It’s hump day. Why am I not humping you right now?

It’s hump day. Why am I not humping you right now?

Well, tickle my tits. It’s Tuesday!

Well, tickle my tits. It’s Tuesday!

I love how you stand behind me when I need you most… and bend me over while you’re back there

I love how you stand behind me when I need you most… and bend me over while you’re back there

That’s a wrap. Well, on just one can of Wild Acre Texas Blonde for this Texas brunette. Definitely will be choosing this refreshing brew for the hot Texas summer. 5.4%ABV

That’s a wrap. Well, on just one can of Wild Acre Texas Blonde for this Texas brunette. Definitely will be choosing this refreshing brew for the hot Texas summer. 5.4%ABV

What you call morning wood, I call breakfast in bed

What you call morning wood, I call breakfast in bed

It’s Tuesday and we all know what that means

It’s Tuesday and we all know what that means

I went on a limb when picking out this Raspberry Lemon Summer Ale by Tupps, but was very pleasantly surprised on how much I liked. Though, I proceeded to spill it everywhere after my shower. I’ll definitely be picking up more. 4.6% ABV.

I went on a limb when picking out this Raspberry Lemon Summer Ale by Tupps, but was very pleasantly surprised on how much I liked. Though, I proceeded to spill it everywhere after my shower. I’ll definitely be picking up more. 4.6% ABV.

I couldn’t help but notice I’d like to have sex with you on a regular basis.

I couldn’t help but notice I’d like to have sex with you on a regular basis.

Good morning all you sexy people

Good morning all you sexy people

I need my ass to match my outfit.

I need my ass to match my outfit.

There’s nothing like a cold shower on a hot day. Well, maybe hot sex on a cold day.

There’s nothing like a cold shower on a hot day. Well, maybe hot sex on a cold day.

Let’s flip a coin. Heads, you get tail. Tails, you get head.

Let’s flip a coin. Heads, you get tail. Tails, you get head.

How’s it hanging y’all?

How’s it hanging y’all?

Let my freckles be your target

Let my freckles be your target