I need my ass to match my outfit.

Wasn’t expecting 90 degree temps today in February in Texas, but here we are

I couldn’t help but notice I’d like to have sex with you on a regular basis.

My favorite position is called the Zombie. I just lie back and get eaten.

Sitting on someone’s face who has a beard is like going for a little magic carpet ride.

It’s Tuesday and we all know what that means

Wanna get tangled in my tinsel?

I hope I didn’t cause a happy accident in your pants

I love how you stand behind me when I need you most… and bend me over while you’re back there

42 doesn’t seem all that bad so far

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this isn’t going to be an ordinary blow job.

Well, tickle my tits. It’s Tuesday!

Titties. They do a body good.

What you call morning wood, I call breakfast in bed

I need a replacement. Got anyone in mind?

Does this suit make my tits look big?

There’s nothing like a cold shower on a hot day. Well, maybe hot sex on a cold day.

Goodnight! If you dream about me, remember I like my hair pulled.

Good morning all you sexy people

It’s hump day. Why am I not humping you right now?

The irony of a blow job is even though you have her on her knees, she still has you by the balls

How’s it hanging hot stuff?

Let’s flip a coin. Heads, you get tail. Tails, you get head.

Let’s flip a coin. Heads, you get tail. Tails, you get head.