“Why do walruses love a Tupperware party…they are always on the lookout for a tight seal.” 😏. I think it’s Titty Tuesday today or something like that 🤔🤓…

“What kind of jacket do you wear on a hike… a trail ‘blazer’…” 😜…I got to get out of the city this weekend and go on a BEAUTIFUL hike and really get my nature groove back on ☀️🌻 …nothing like the first hike of the season 😍

“How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?…Who knows they’re all to busy playing with the Switch…” 😳👀😅😂 if you didn’t laugh at this I’m really going to need to re-evaluate my social circle 💁🏻‍♀️😏

“Did you hear about the mathematician who was terrified of negative numbers?…He would stop at nothing to avoid them…” Where all my math nerds at? This one is for you 🤓😏… I know it’s hump day y’all but… I got my nails done and wanted to show them off to Re

“I took a baking class…the final was a ‘piece of cake’…” 😬… I can actually hear all of your collective groans from here 😏… it fuels my desire to never stop torturing y’all with dad jokes 🤓😈

“I’m on a seafood diet…I see food and I eat it…” … Food amirite? 🤤 … also today is thong/throwback Thursday which is convenient because thongs are my fave 🤷🏻‍♀️🤓🙃

“I’m on a seafood diet…I see food and I eat it…” Food amirite? 🤤 …it’s throwback Thursday so here’s a throwback to Tuesday when I went for tacos at work 🤷🏻‍♀️🤓🙃

“What do you call a duck wearing plaid?…A lumber-quack” …*crickets* nothing?…I’ll see myself out 😳😅…Ps: some flannel for your Sunday feed 🤓

“What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself…a ‘tear’jerker” 🥲… Crazy afternoon at work calls (f)or a Red Bull …it gives you a hard-on right? Or is it wings? 🤔 I can’t remember… 🤷🏻‍♀️🤓

“Did you hear about the cat who ate a ball of yarn?…she had a litter of mittens” 😝🥰…everyone knits on their break…right? 🤔🧶…

“What kind of bird gives the best head?…a swallow”… *giggle* 😅…Happy Monday my sweet sunflowers! 🤓🌻

“How is sex like a game of Bridge?…If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.” 😏 …Happy Monday y’all! I’ve acquired coffee and have some Lo-Fi beats in my ears….You can find me at a computer all day today 🤓🙃

“Is your name winter?…Because you’ll be ‘coming’ soon.” 💦 … here’s a little something for making it to Friday 🤓🙃

“I saw an interview with a contortionist the other day…he was struggling to make ends meet” 😂…waiting to have an interview this afternoon for a promotion…maybe I should pull my shirt down 🤔…

Remember when I told you guys sweater #2 was on my needles? 🤓🙃

Is this coffee making me awesome yet? 😳🤓

It snowed last night so I guess I’m just gonna “chill” at home 😅...*crickets*...no? Tough crowd 😬

...there is Bourbon Cream in this coffee 😬... I did it because Monday 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s time for another round of “There is knitting somewhere in this picture” 😜🙃

I’m that REALLY irritating neighbor that always needs to borrow a cup of sugar...why am I like this? 😳🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh hey! 😳 You uh, you caught me 😅...No one was around and I was just really feeling myself in the glow of the Christmas tree 🥺

I sure hope this sweater fits when I finish it 😳....

You all HAVE to stop convincing me to post these pictures 😩...because I’m really easy to convince 😳😅

I told you guys, I REALLY shouldn’t be posting these 😳😩...but it was SO much fun last night. I couldn’t help myself again tonight 🥺

I really shouldn’t be posting nudes, but I REALLY wanna 😳 ...you won’t tell, right? 🥺