“Did you hear about the mathematician who was terrified of negative numbers?…He would stop at nothing to avoid them…” Where all my math nerds at? This one is for you 🤓😏… I know it’s hump day y’all but… I got my nails done and wanted to show them off to Re

“What kind of jacket do you wear on a hike… a trail ‘blazer’…” 😜…I got to get out of the city this weekend and go on a BEAUTIFUL hike and really get my nature groove back on ☀️🌻 …nothing like the first hike of the season 😍

“How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?…Who knows they’re all to busy playing with the Switch…” 😳👀😅😂 if you didn’t laugh at this I’m really going to need to re-evaluate my social circle 💁🏻‍♀️😏

“Which days are the strongest? Saturdays and Sundays. The rest are just ‘week’days…” 😂🤣…I found a new dad joke plug… y’all ain’t even ready 😏… Happy Saturday my sweet sunflowers 🌻😌

“What does a nosey pepper do?… it gets jalapeño business!…” kinda like me…spicy and all up in ya business 🤓🥵…or at least tryna be 😏🤷🏻‍♀️

“I took a baking class…the final was a ‘piece of cake’…” 😬… I can actually hear all of your collective groans from here 😏… it fuels my desire to never stop torturing y’all with dad jokes 🤓😈

“I’m on a seafood diet…I see food and I eat it…” Food amirite? 🤤 …it’s throwback Thursday so here’s a throwback to Tuesday when I went for tacos at work 🤷🏻‍♀️🤓🙃

“How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?…Ten tickles.” 🐙… fun fact about me: octopus is my favorite cephalopod 🤓 …Happy Monday y’all…Don’t forget your coffee 😏

“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but there was no ‘atmosphere’”…space is awesome 🤓🤣…why are there SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS PARKING LOT?! 😏

“Masturbation always leads to sex…it’s a gateway tug.” 😂😝… I haven’t taken any public 📸 in a long time and I was feeling a touch playful in yellow 😎💛 Happy Saturday my sunflowers 🌻

“What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself…a ‘tear’jerker” 🥲… Crazy afternoon at work calls (f)or a Red Bull …it gives you a hard-on right? Or is it wings? 🤔 I can’t remember… 🤷🏻‍♀️🤓

“Did you hear about the cat who ate a ball of yarn?…she had a litter of mittens” 😝🥰…everyone knits on their break…right? 🤔🧶…

“Why do walruses love a Tupperware party…they are always on the lookout for a tight seal.” 😏. I think it’s Titty Tuesday today or something like that 🤔🤓…

“How is sex like a game of Bridge?…If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.” 😏 …Happy Monday y’all! I’ve acquired coffee and have some Lo-Fi beats in my ears….You can find me at a computer all day today 🤓🙃

“What happened when Cinderella got to the ball?… she gagged.” … Get it? 😏🍆👅…Also I hope you all aren’t tired of seeing my new sweater because I took ALL. THE. 📸. Happy Thursday! 🤓

“I saw an interview with a contortionist the other day…he was struggling to make ends meet” 😂…waiting to have an interview this afternoon for a promotion…maybe I should pull my shirt down 🤔…

Remember when I told you guys sweater #2 was on my needles? 🤓🙃

Is this coffee making me awesome yet? 😳🤓

It snowed last night so I guess I’m just gonna “chill” at home 😅...*crickets*...no? Tough crowd 😬

...there is Bourbon Cream in this coffee 😬... I did it because Monday 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do you think if I sit pretty on my knees Taco Bell will give me all the tacos they have? 😳🤔

There is laundry that needs to be done...maybe if I sit here and pout it will do itself 😳🤔

I was fully dressed and ready to leave for work...but then I started thinking about all the attention y’all have been giving me and well...😳😅🤷🏻‍♀️ I gotta work on my self control 🥺

It’s time for another round of “There is knitting somewhere in this picture” 😜🙃