Apparently I’m not the kind of girl who can swallow

Headed off to Trader Joe’s. Let me know if you need anything.

The plural of MILF is milves and no one can convince me otherwise

Made you a snack

When I tell my husband I’m picking up groceries he probably doesn’t expect me to pick up men as well.

I got you a present

I had an explosive orgasm in the shower [oc]

Fucking myself always feels so much better when I know someone gets to watch me do it

Brought to you by your local Target

I can’t wait to have your baby growing inside me

Practicing for when my husband invites his friends over

My roommate came in my room while I was hiding under the sheets masturbating.

I hope you think brown nipples are cute

I drove over for my creampie. I hope you’re ready to fill me up.

I always bring my dildo into the fitting room with me. Next time, I’ll bring you.

I miss my baby bump so much. I’m ready for someone to give me a new one.

I got stood up today. He’s missing out.

I’m all ready for bed. Maybe tonight will be the night you get me pregnant.

Does this count as riding a bike?

Heard you liked blowjobs.

I’m ovulating. Breed me right here in the car, it’s important.

Admit it, Target is always the best place to go milf watching.

My husband would be so irritated if he knew I flashed a group of college boys while picking up his prescription at Safeway

I want to be bred outside like an animal.