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Messieurs et Madames, I am sure you will be most delighted to learn that our club is once more open, and I invite you all to enjoy a fine wine or brandy with me this evening. My staff have been practising a splendid dance display, which they will perform

Messieurs et Madames, I am sure you will be most delighted to learn that our club is once more open, and I invite you all to enjoy a fine wine or brandy with me this evening. My staff have been practising a splendid dance display, which they will perform

So much smiles.

So much smiles.

Sir, My new maid is a good hard working hire, but I fear she has not her numbers nor her letters. I sit her down in a comfortable place and find it most rewarding to spend many an hour helping her to to read.

Sir, My new maid is a good hard working hire, but I fear she has not her numbers nor her letters. I sit her down in a comfortable place and find it most rewarding to spend many an hour helping her to to read.

Sir, Once more I find myself interviewing for a new maid. A great many did apply, and so I have implemented a new system of interview and assessment. I am now considering the final three candidates, but it is most difficult to decide between them.

Sir, Once more I find myself interviewing for a new maid. A great many did apply, and so I have implemented a new system of interview and assessment. I am now considering the final three candidates, but it is most difficult to decide between them.

Sir, Lady B do declare that the staff are idling and are not working as per their contract. I do inspect their work ethic on a regular basis and I find no fault. I vouch to watch the staff closely.

Sir, Lady B do declare that the staff are idling and are not working as per their contract. I do inspect their work ethic on a regular basis and I find no fault. I vouch to watch the staff closely.

Sir, I instruct my staff to prepare rooms for my guests, but they insist upon practicing their act "The Tumbling Maldinis" for the summer fayre. I offer some instruction and stage direction which is gladly accepted and do you know, I think their act may w

Sir, I instruct my staff to prepare rooms for my guests, but they insist upon practicing their act "The Tumbling Maldinis" for the summer fayre. I offer some instruction and stage direction which is gladly accepted and do you know, I think their act may w

Sir, my Housekeeper has neglected to place an order for cotton cloths; as such the maids claim they are unable to do further cleaning. I swiftly intervene before this laziness takes hold of the entire house. The ragged clothing of my staff makes a fine su

Sir, my Housekeeper has neglected to place an order for cotton cloths; as such the maids claim they are unable to do further cleaning. I swiftly intervene before this laziness takes hold of the entire house. The ragged clothing of my staff makes a fine su

Sir, The past 12 days has seen our private club gain 3,000 new members. I note that, following my story regarding the maid who was pissing in my hat, we lost 18 members. I apologise for my most vulgar report, and in penance I would like to share a work of

Sir, The past 12 days has seen our private club gain 3,000 new members. I note that, following my story regarding the maid who was pissing in my hat, we lost 18 members. I apologise for my most vulgar report, and in penance I would like to share a work of

Sirs, Of late there have been a great many advertisement leaflets strewn around our club. I have endeavoured to remove them all, and have punished the maid who let the urchins in to distribute them. Please report any unwarranted postings and commentary. T

Sirs, Of late there have been a great many advertisement leaflets strewn around our club. I have endeavoured to remove them all, and have punished the maid who let the urchins in to distribute them. Please report any unwarranted postings and commentary. T

Messieurs et Madames, the Ladies-only room is now open for Ladies to partake in drinks, chat and quiet games that are most suited to the fairer sex. No men are permitted within this room, although they may view through a peep-hole at a cost of 3 shillings

Messieurs et Madames, the Ladies-only room is now open for Ladies to partake in drinks, chat and quiet games that are most suited to the fairer sex. No men are permitted within this room, although they may view through a peep-hole at a cost of 3 shillings

Sir, A business luncheon with Lord Whippincot, a most pious man. I fear his shock at maid Clara's interpretation of a 'welcoming spread' could be heard in the next village. However, Whippincott later tips me a nod and offers much government work. I am mos

Sir, A business luncheon with Lord Whippincot, a most pious man. I fear his shock at maid Clara's interpretation of a 'welcoming spread' could be heard in the next village. However, Whippincott later tips me a nod and offers much government work. I am mos

Sir, I have hired two Italian chefs to give my luncheon greater variety. The chefs are currently banging and crashing around in the kitchen - presumably the Italian way - and I am in great anticipation of what exciting new experiences they may introduce m

Sir, I have hired two Italian chefs to give my luncheon greater variety. The chefs are currently banging and crashing around in the kitchen - presumably the Italian way - and I am in great anticipation of what exciting new experiences they may introduce m

Sir, I receive a letter from Gussy Herbert, who is currently on government work overseas. "I have grown the best moustache. It is the most fashionable style these days". He encloses a photo. I am uncertain whose whiskers are the most impressive, but I do

Sir, I receive a letter from Gussy Herbert, who is currently on government work overseas. "I have grown the best moustache. It is the most fashionable style these days". He encloses a photo. I am uncertain whose whiskers are the most impressive, but I do

A warm welcome to all who have arrived in our little club from the "100 year old porn found in wall" pamphlet that is doing the rounds. My secretary is busy typing up membership cards for you all as we speak. Please make yourself comfortable, we have a ra

A warm welcome to all who have arrived in our little club from the "100 year old porn found in wall" pamphlet that is doing the rounds. My secretary is busy typing up membership cards for you all as we speak. Please make yourself comfortable, we have a ra

Sir, Upon visiting my usual Turkish baths in Bishopsgate I did find them closed for repairs. I discovered another, some little way down the road. The practices within were of such great difference to Bishopsgate that I ran from the building in great shock

Sir, Upon visiting my usual Turkish baths in Bishopsgate I did find them closed for repairs. I discovered another, some little way down the road. The practices within were of such great difference to Bishopsgate that I ran from the building in great shock

Sir, I am delighted to announce that our little club recently amassed some 20,000 members. I have invited my staff to attend a celebratory ball. They have practised their dancing, and although some expressed concern upon affording fancy clothes, I assured

Sir, I am delighted to announce that our little club recently amassed some 20,000 members. I have invited my staff to attend a celebratory ball. They have practised their dancing, and although some expressed concern upon affording fancy clothes, I assured

Sir, A great deal of fascinating artwork has been made known to me, through our friendly yet private club. I am most grateful for all contributions.

Sir, A great deal of fascinating artwork has been made known to me, through our friendly yet private club. I am most grateful for all contributions.

Sir, I well remember the controversy that I wrought when, upon taking stewardship of our historic gentlemen's club, I opened an area up to the feminine sex also. So it pleases me greatly to spend time within the Zeus room and to witness the great satisfac

Sir, I well remember the controversy that I wrought when, upon taking stewardship of our historic gentlemen's club, I opened an area up to the feminine sex also. So it pleases me greatly to spend time within the Zeus room and to witness the great satisfac

Catwalk fashion

Catwalk fashion

Sir, Recently, Lord Pussetshaft proposed 'A Lady, when inverted, do resemble a Gentleman, and none can tell them apart'. After much Brandy and debate, we reached no firm conclusion. I called for two servants, but alas they were unable to remain still for

Sir, Recently, Lord Pussetshaft proposed 'A Lady, when inverted, do resemble a Gentleman, and none can tell them apart'. After much Brandy and debate, we reached no firm conclusion. I called for two servants, but alas they were unable to remain still for

Sir, While we spend this cold miserable month waiting for lazy staff to light the fire, I am very much anticipating the warmer months. I have booked miss Leonara Larkin to perform her one-lady adaptation of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in the summer house.

Sir, While we spend this cold miserable month waiting for lazy staff to light the fire, I am very much anticipating the warmer months. I have booked miss Leonara Larkin to perform her one-lady adaptation of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in the summer house.

Sir, Today I receive a postcard from Gussy Herbert, who is currently in Egypt searching for lost treasures of the pharaohs. "I have uncovered some amazing finds", he writes, "You would not believe how many whores you can hire for a shilling". I raise a gl

Sir, Today I receive a postcard from Gussy Herbert, who is currently in Egypt searching for lost treasures of the pharaohs. "I have uncovered some amazing finds", he writes, "You would not believe how many whores you can hire for a shilling". I raise a gl