Previous-Ganache-701 posts on XXX.PICS
Sir, a young lady of my aquaintance informs me that in the Colonies it is common parctice for a Gentleman to give his paramour a 'Pearl Necklace' I duly oblige but cant really see what the fuss is about.
Sir, Over luncheon the Lady of the house sees fit to take me to task. She claims that my letter to the Postmaster is unwarranted for the new Postman is a fine upstanding young fellow. I note that he did deliver a telegram this morning with some urgency.
Sir, Gussie Herbert informs me of a modern Vaudeville act whereupon a lady is cut in half ! I have witnessed this performance but I fear that the illusion has yet to be perfected
To the Postmaster General. Sir, I may have rushed to judgement for only yesterday our postman was found in a state of complete exhaustion ! The fellow had collapsed in his haste to deliver a telegram. He was fortunate in that a maid was able to administer
Sir, I am awoken in the early hours by the smell of smoke and much calamity. I race downstrairs in my undergarments. Much to my relief, cook has summoned the fire brigade and has the matter in hand.
Sir, I have recently discovered the wonders of Art from the Far Orient. A spyglass and large brandy are required to fully appricate the deatils.
Sir, The need has arisen for the appointment of a new maid. In addition to the usual references and letter of introduction I now demand a demonstration of their skills. This has proved most worthwhile.
Sir, As a reward for their service I have on occasion permitted some of my staff to use my indoor skiitles. Judging for the noises that I hear from below starirs it has proved a most popular game.
To the Postmaster General, Im writing to you this very morning in praise of our new telegram boy. I find him to be the most dilligent and courteous fellow imaginable and I oft see him cycling up the drive whistling a cheery tune with a smile on his face.
Quelle horreur !!!! I was mortified to learn of Lady Chompenet's loss. Over dinner a diamond had dislodged itself from her tiara. I instruct the staff to carry out a meticulous search.
Sir, As we approach the Yuletide once more it seems that one can hardly avoid the cook books that fill the booksellers shelves. I have availed myself of one such volume entitled 'The Hairy Diners Cook Book' There is much to be learned in the culinary arts
Sir, A few slates have been dislodged from the roof of my servants quarters, I instruct them to be vigilant for any ingress of rain water.
Sir, we are invited to a reading group hosted by Dame Trumpton-Hardwicke. I confess to being sceptical at first but there was one novel that caught my eye.
Sir, with so many titled guests arriving the Head Butler ensures that shoes are polished and hair is neatly trimmed. One must maintain standards I feel.
Sir, with the forthcoming New Year's celebrations some of the staff ask permission to perform a Mummers Play. I am quite content with the spectacle but insist that reherasls are performed. Costumes are quite unnessecary at the stage.
Sir, I enclose a magic lantern slide from a lecture at the Royal College of Surgeons. It illustrates the latest treatment that Gussie Herbert may need on his return.
Sir, The lack of education amongst the lower orders is lamentable. I have decided to permit the more promising servants to improve themselves whilst attending to their chores.
Sir, Lord Bumford's chaufeur is a most impertenent and insolent fellow. I hear he was asking the maid for help with his starting handle.
Sir, A troupe of acrobatic artistes arrive in the village. They favour us with an invitation to see them rehearse their act backstage. I am greatly entertained even though the human pyramid is not yet perfected.
Sir, Some Swedish folding chairs arrive for the Conservatoire, concerned as to their poor construction I have devised a scientific method to test their weight baring capability. They are found to be quite robust.
Sir, A charming fellow with a knowledge of instruments is summoned to appraise my harpsichord. Although G major may be elusive to some he was able to locate it almost immediately.
Sir, A distingushed member of this club recently complained of the state of his lawns. I fear he is not alone, why only yesterday I discovered two of the gardeners hopelessly attempting to prune a tree, I observed their efforts from the bushes.
