Sorry about that. I hope my hat covered that slip. [F], 40, secret elf.

Merry Xmas from my cleavage to your dick. Let’s try to get together more next year. [F], 40

Testing the efficacy of this camo lingerie set. Can you see me? [F], 40, married, 2 kids, loves the scientific method.

Oh thank goodness. I caught them in time. [F], 39.

The sun is out. [F], 39, loves the drive thru.

I think 1 star is a bit high. Thoughts? [F], 39, tired of zoom Pilates at home.)

Just doing some outdoor Pilates in my yard, carry on. [F], 39

Kids are finally at school. In person. I’m free! What should I do? Taking suggestions. [F], 39, indecisive.

Happy Friday! I’m thirsty for a morning beverage. Suggestions? [F]

Not sure how this keeps happening during zoom meetings. Sorry guys. [F], 39.

It’s hard to match exactly sometimes. 🤷🏻‍♀️ [F], 39

Sometimes it’s worth it to upgrade for a better view. [F], 39.

Do I have to get up on this Pandemic Tuesday? Asking for a friend. [F], 39

I’m about 20 years late on my term paper. Can I get extra credit? [F], 39, married, 2 kiddos, graduated college in 2002, renaissance woman, still loves getting good grades.

Just grabbing my ass while I’m cleaning the overpriced hotel room I paid for. I’m efficient that way. [F], 39, married, 2 kids, escaped from them for 2 nights, hates even pretending to clean.)

Just a mom finding some privacy in her minivan. I am wearing a dress. Just seem to have lost my panties. [F], 39, married, 2 kids, misses quiet, loves her Odyssey backseat.

Thank you daily Pilates for my quarantine ass gains. But the cleanliness of my house has suffered. We all make choices. [F], 39, married, 2 kiddos, carb lover, and makes difficult choices.

It was 95 degrees and humid today. Sometimes you need to let air circulate. And hot air rises. Therefore, you need to lift your dress. #science [F], 39, married, 2 kids, loves air conditioning, misses going places other than her home.)

Just standing up to stretch and yell at my kids to be quiet. It’s my 3rd zoom meeting of the day. ([F], 39, married, 2 loud kids, hates people who don’t mute, misses her office, loves privacy, dislikes global pandemics.)

Just a mom ordering drive thru coffee to make it through her day. Not sure how my panties ended in my mouth, though. ([F],39, married, 2 kids, mediocre WFH-er, caffeine addict, sarcastic as fuck, tries to move to New Zealand everyday.)

This dress has a gap in a very inopportune place. I apologize. [F], 39, married, 2 kids, very accident prone.

Just a mom who thinks getting out of bed in a pandemic induced quarantine is overrated. ([F], 39, married, 2 rambunctious littles, a demanding job, and too much laundry to do.)

The hairdresser cut off too much. But I guess you have a better view of my cleavage, so the cup is half [f]ull? It’s hard to see the positives in the apocalypse. (F, 39, married, 2 energetic littles, professional marketer, and pandemic pessimist.)

Oopps, sorry wardrobe malfunction. Let me fix that. Stat. [F]