last selfie with green hair 💚

[f21] why are dentists’ graves hard to find? there’s no plaque

[f21] where do pirates get their hooks? second hand stores

[f21] what do u call a fish with a bow tie? sofishticated

[f21] my boss asked me why i only get sick on work days. i said it must be my weekend immune system

insert 5 inches to play 💖

(f21) i’ve got this awful disease where i can’t stop telling airport jokes. my doctor says it’s terminal

(f21) The book I ordered about clocks finally came in. It’s about time

(f21) Instead of naming my son Drew, I named him Driew. It’s only weird if you say it backwards

[f21] I’m reading a horror story in braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can just feel it

[f21] I have a scary joke about math but I’m 2² to say it

[f21] Yes, 10 was scared because 7 ate 9, but why did 7 eat 9? His doctor told him to eat 3² meals a day

[f21] how do dads justify buying a boat? “there was a sail”

[f21] the female janitor at my building asked if i would chill and smoke some weed with her. i said no. i can’t deal with high maintenance women

[21f] what do you call a magician who lost his magic? Ian

[f21] How do you get a good price on a sled? You have toboggan 🥴

[f21] Dad (puts car in reverse) “ah this takes me back”

sleep <<< doing your makeup at 4 am to take one decent selfie [f21]

[f21] what happens when it rains cats and dogs? you have to be careful not to step in a poodle 🐩

it’s my birthday today 🥳 [f21]

happy monday 💕 say hi if you see this [f20]

i have a job interview today! wish me luck 💕 [over 18]

it’s my bday :3 🥳

[19] hii to the few people who will see this 💕